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Ken Magill

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Epsilon Wins Magill Report FFL Championship!


By Ken Magill

Well, the TowerData Validators have to be pretty frosted right about now.

After being knocked out of the playoffs last week by six tenths of a point, they seriously outscored both teams in the championship this week.

But alas, their score of 155.74 will have to serve as little more than a point of honor.

In the game that mattered, Epsilon’s Harmony Army beat Return Path’s Spammer Slammers 116.78 to 93.54.

As a result, Epsilon is the Magill Report Fantasy Football League’s 2013 champion and will be the recipient of a beautiful crystal trophy from Crown Awards and a regulation-sized Lebanon bologna football from Dietrich’s Meats in Krumsville, PA. Mmmm. Mmm.

And once again, Return Path fielded a strong team only to just come up short. Maybe next year, Return Path. Maybe next year.

Unlike previous years, this year’s outcome wasn’t really a surprise. League favorites have traditionally been knocked out of the playoffs in the Magill Report Fantasy Football League.

But this year Epsilon romped through the league with a 12-1 record and finished its romp with the championship.

Also, one of Epsilon’s team managers, Matt Hart, managed former email service provider e-Dialog’s team to win the first Magill Report Fantasy Football Championship in 2010. So now Hart’s got two Magill Report championships and the league has a target next year.

Epsilon won the championship this year in spite of doing one thing I always recommend against.

They started Buffalo Bills running back Fred Jackson. No I’m not criticizing Jackson. The Magill household has an authentic, autographed Fred Jackson jersey hanging in our closet that was presented to my wife personally by the Buffalo Bills.

Jackson teaches the kind of lesson I want my son to take away from sports. He was an undrafted walk-on in 2006 and through hard work won the starting job in 2007.

No, I have no beef with Jackson. My beef is with anyone at any time starting a Buffalo Bill on their fantasy team. As long-time readers know, the Buffalo Bills are my team.

But they also know that I know Buffalo is cursed. As a result, I do not start Buffalo Bills on my fantasy teams. I recommend against others doing so, as well.

Fortunately for Epsilon, I turned out to be full of crap on the Jackson decision this week. He scored 17.8 fantasy points, helping propel Epsilon to a championship win.

Maybe every once in a while, starting a Bill isn’t such a bad idea. … Just maybe.


Phew! I almost got my hopes up there for a moment. God will always hate Buffalo.

In any case, congratulations Epsilon! Soon, the smell of a carved Lebanon-bologna football will be wafting through your New York offices.


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