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Ken Magill

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Magill FFL: Message Systems Sends a Message

9/29/15
 
By Ken Magill
 
After losing in weeks one and two, Message Systems’ SparkPost Destroyers sent a message to the rest of the league this week: “We are not pushovers.”
 
The Destroyers scored a whopping 239.9 points, beating Omeda’s Oh my Omeda.
 
Omeda scored a respectable 184.34 points this week, enough to have beaten 12 of the other teams in the league. 
 
Unfortunately, they didn’t play any of the other 12 teams they could have beaten. They played one of the two that outscored them.
 
Message Systems’ record is 1-2. Omeda’s is 2-1.
 
WhatCounts’ Count the TDs put up this week’s second highest score, beating eDataSource’s Off Our EDS 192.22 to 161.84. This was another case of an unlucky matchup for the loser. eDataSource scored more than nine other teams.
 
WhatCounts’ record is 2-1. eDataSource’s is 1-2.
 
Last year’s champion, Net Atlantic Storm, dropped to 0-3 this week, losing to Yesmail 143 to 162.56. 
 
They’re all coming for you, Net Atlantic. Not me, mind you. I’m rooting for you to win the championship again. 
 
I would love another trip to award you the annual meat football in your offices under 27 feet of snow in Salem, MA, where my in laws also live so I would have to hope they didn’t spot my car—again. I can’t tell you how much I love sharing the road with a bunch of Massholes whose nostrils flair and ears billow smoke the moment they see New York plates. I especially love it when they respond to my lane-change signal by racing up beside me and blocking my path.
 
Yep. Can’t wait.
 
Meanwhile, Adestra’s HMS Victory beat Fluent’s Fluent in Kicking @$$ 160.74 to 108.78.
 
Hooligans.
 
Both teams’ records are 2-1.
 
The Doba Drop Shippers—who let a drop shipper in this league?—beat the TowerData Validators 151.62 to 119.6.
 
Doba’s record is 2-1. TowerData’s is 1-2.
 
And in a squeaker, PL Marketing’s Orchard Lake United beat FreshAddress’s SoFresh and SoClean 140.9 to 139.48.
 
It didn’t help FreshAddress that their quarterback, San Francisco’s Colin Kaepernick, played the worst game of his career, throwing four interceptions. 
 
Chin up, FreshAddress, Kaepernick can’t play any worse, right? Oh wait. San Francisco’s offensive line is a train wreck and the team plays Green Bay next. Maybe it can get worse. But don’t listen to me! 
 
In any case, there is one undefeated team left in the Magill Report league: Oracle Buys us All. Oracle handed the Epsilon Harmony Army its third loss of the season, 145.42 to 116.26.
 
Oracle may be vulnerable next week, however. Its quarterback, New England borg-like touchdown machine Tom Brady, is on a bye. Oracle currently does not have a quarterback on its bench. There are a few free-agent quarterbacks available that look to be solid options. It’ll be interesting to see which one Oracle picks up in an attempt to keep its undefeated streak alive. 
 
I know who I’d pick, but I ain’t sayin’.
 
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