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Magill FFL: NetAtlantic Backs into Playoffs; Division 1 Jostles for a Spot


By Ken Magill

Miraculously, after losing its last five games, the NetAtlantic TidalWave has held on to its Division 3 lead and apparently still has a lock on the playoffs.

The TidalWave lost this week to Division 1 powerhouse TowerData Validators 86.96 to 158.26.

The loss left the TidalWave’s record at 6-7, one game ahead of the PL Marketing’s Orchard Lake Pirates whose record is 5-8. However, the TidalWave’s record against division opponents is two games better than the Pirates’.

According to Yahoo!, the first fantasy football tiebreaker is “division winning percentage.”

[Author’s note. The analysis in this piece is wholly dependent on me having interpreted “division winning percentage” correctly. If I got it wrong, this whole article is a piece of inaccurate, meaningless crap.]

As a result, even if the Pirates win their last regular-season game next week and the TidalWave loses, NetAtlantic wins the playoff tiebreaker. Put another way, NetAtlantic could drop its sixth straight and still make the playoffs with a record of 6-8.

Must be nice.

Meanwhile, the Pontiflex DUMBOs have a lock on the playoffs in Division 2. The DUMBOs won their fifth straight game this week, beating Omeda’s Oh My! Omeda 106.46 to 100.76.

The win left Pontiflex’s record at a commanding 10-3 Division 2 lead.

As for the other two playoff spots, that battle is taking place in Division 1, the division with the only teams in contention for the wildcard spot.

The TowerData Validators won their second in a row this week, keeping them in the lead position in Division 1 with a record of 10-3.

FreshAddress’ The @men currently hold the second slot in Division 1 with a record of 9-4 after having beaten Return Path’s RP GOLIATHS 163.78 to 109.38.

Return Path’s record is 6-7, leaving it out of playoff contention.

If the playoffs were to begin today, The @men would get the wildcard spot. However, FreshAddress is just one game ahead of two teams with better divisional records.

Message Systems’ MS Destroyers beat e-Dialog’s e-D’s TDs this week 141.22 to 99.38. The win left Message Systems’ record at 8-5, one game behind FreshAddress in Division 1.

Spam Primavera—run by Adam Mihalik, a marketing analyst at a really big insurance company I’m not allowed to name—beat Harte-Hanks Heroes 143.76 to 133.5, leaving Spam Primavera’s record at 8-5, also one game behind FreshAddress in Division 1.

FreshAddress’ divisional record is 1-3. Message Systems’ and Spam Primavera’s divisional records are 3-1. Message Systems and FreshAddress are playing each other this week.

As a result, if FreshAddress loses, Message Systems will move past FreshAddress for a shot at the wildcard spot.

However, Spam Primavera could take the wildcard spot on points.

If Message Systems beats FreshAddress and Spam Primavera wins its game this week, FreshAddress is out and the tiebreaker between Message Systems and Spam Primavera goes to the team that scored the most points this season. So far, Message Systems has 1,671.5 and Spam Primavera has 1,641.3.

If Message Systems wins, Message Systems gets the wildcard as long as Spam Primavera doesn’t both win and outscore it by 30.3 points or more.

Spam Primavera plays the wife’s Rivet This! this week. Though the wife is out of playoff contention, she is projected to beat Spam Primavera. Nice to see she’s someone else’s headache for a change.

In order for Spam Primavera to get into the playoffs, Spam Primavera first needs Message Systems to beat FreshAddress. Spam Primavera must also beat the wife and outscore Message Systems by 30.3 or more points.

If FreshAddress wins, Fresh Address gets the wildcard spot no matter what else happens.

Is everybody confused enough yet?

As for the rest of the league, the wife’s Rivet This! beat Zrinity’s Email Lightning by less than a point this week: 111.04 to 110.66 and the Orchard lake Pirates beat Mickey Chandler’s Spamtacular Bastards 114.82 to 69.3.


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Terms: Feel free to be as big a jerk as you want, but don't attack anyone other than me personally. And don't criticize people or companies other than me anonymously. Got something crappy to say? Say it under your real name. Anonymous potshots and personal attacks aimed at me, however, are fine.

Posted by: barry
Date: 2011-12-06 16:39:54
Subject: 1 more game

is all the Pirates needed to get in. finally figured out FF and it seems just like a sportsminded persons Star Wars or Star Trek to keep track of all the players if you know what i mean. i do give Net Atlantic alot of business so you think they would have folded even earlier but next year i will move up the rankings.