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Ken Magill

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Magill FFL: Spam Primavera Lone Undefeated


By Ken Magill

Hey folks! What do the Magill League’s Spam Primavera and my Buffalo Bills have in common? Why, they’re both undefeated, that’s what!

I know. I know. I’ve had my heart ripped out enough over the years to know the Buffalo Bills portion of that equation can’t last. For one thing, their passing defense is Swiss cheese.

But hey, it’s fun to be able to put the words “Bills” and “undefeated” in the same sentence, even if only briefly.

Meanwhile, Spam Primavera is the only undefeated team in the Magill Report Fantasy Football League and is emerging as this year’s possible juggernaut.

Spam Primavera—run by Adam Mihalik, a marketing analyst at a really big insurance company I’m not allowed to name—beat last year’s juggernaut, Return Path’s RP GOLIATHS 129.44 to 83.7.

The win put Spam Primavera alone atop Division 1.

Return Path suffered from an improbably bad performance by all of its receivers and running backs.

Who’d have guessed Pittsburgh receiver Hines Ward, Washington receiver Santana Moss, Indianapolis receiver Reggie Wayne and Tennessee running back Chris Johnson would all suck on the same day?

The loss put Return Path’s record at 0-3, making the team name look kind of like an exercise in irony.

Just kidding, Larry! You know I’m rooting for you!

Now for the really bad news. The wife posted her first win by leading her team, Rivet This!, to beat FreshAddress’s The @men 177.56 to 122.88.

The game put both teams’ records at 1-2.

Let me be clear here. We can’t afford to have the wife clawing her way into contention. Or more accurately, I can’t afford to have her clawing her way into contention.

The wife winning the Magill Report Fantasy Football League Championship would be very bad for Ken Magill. She lives with me. I am as big a pain in the ass at home as I am in this newsletter. As a result, the wife will gleefully take any chance she can get to publicly humiliate me. So no more wins for the wife. Everybody got it?

In any case, Harte-Hanks Heroes posted this week’s highest score, beating Message Systems’ MS Destroyers 150.22 to 142.86.

The game put both teams’ records at 2-1.

The Pontiflex DUMBOs beat the NetAtlantic Tidal Wave 118.88 to 89.76. NetAtlantic had wide-receiver problems. That game also put both teams’ records at 2-1.

Mickey Chandler’s Spamtacular Bastards beat winless Omeda’s Oh My! Omeda 132.7 to 81.94. The win put the Bastards’ record at 2-1.

e-Dialog’s e-D’s TDs suffered their first loss this week, getting edged by the TowerData Validators 113.32 to 105.8.

The win put the Validators’ record at 2-1.

Zrinity’s Email Lightning recorded its first win this week, squeaking by PL Marketing’s Orchard Lake Warrior 114.18 to 113.52.


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