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Ken Magill

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Magill FFL Week Five: Time for an Animal Sacrifice

10/9/12

By Ken Magill

It’s time for the NetAtlantic TidalWave to find a volcano and throw a virgin into it. Or if that’s too inconvenient—or if we’re a little squeamish about killing virgins—maybe sacrificing a goat will do.

Either way, they’ve clearly got to do something to make the fantasy football gods happy.

Given their luck so far this season, though, they’d probably just succeed in making it rain and getting a good corn harvest.

After weeks of putting up respectable scores and suffering stinging losses by simply have the bad luck of being pitted against teams that scored higher, the TidalWave scored an anemic 49.86 points in a loss to the eWayDirect Avengers.

And to make the situation even more insulting, the Avengers beat the TidalWave by scoring a whopping 56.76 points, the third lowest total this week.

Yow. Can you say: “Clash of the titans?”

The TidalWave’s record is 0-5.

Note to other team managers: play fantasy football long enough and sooner or later anyone will find themselves in the TidalWave’s position. You just might be the one needing to kill a goat next year.

In other news, after a horrendous start to the season, FreshAdress’s @men suddenly look like they may be emerging as the team to beat.

After putting up a crushing 187.24 points last week, the @men raised the stakes even higher this week, scoring 211.8 points to beat e-Dialog’s e-D’s TDs’ score of 103.4. e-Dialog’s record is now 1-4.

The @men’s main contributors this week were New Orleans quarterback Drew Brees and wide receiver Marques Colston. The two connected for a combined score of 84.7.

Methinks we have some Saints fans in Newton, MA.

With its record of 2-3, FreshAddress has plenty of season left to claw back into contention. The @men are two games behind the three division 2 leaders, Movable Ink’s Inkredibles, Responsys’s Always in the Inbox and the eWayDirect Avengers, each having records of 4-1.

Always in the Inbox beat the Marketfish Sharks 116.5 to 85.38.

The Sharks’ loss put them in a tie for first place in Division 3 with Living Social’s Illegal Use of Hands, both with records of 3-2.

After a slow start to the season, Illegal Use of Hands won its third game in a row this week, beating Message Systems’ MS Destroyers 101.56 to 96.46.

The Destroyers’ record is 1-4.

Return Path’s GOLIATHS moved into a tie for second place in Division 1 by beating Victor Printing’s (who the hell let a printer in this league?) Browns 122.54 to 53.24.

The GOLIATHS are tied for second place in Division 1 with the TowerData Validators, who slipped out of a shared position in first place by losing to Movable Ink’s Inkredibles 84.32 to 111.16.

PL Marketing’s Lakeland Hawks now sit alone on top of Division 1 with a 4-1 record after beating Omeda’s Oh My! Omeda this week 116.1 to 83.42.

Omeda’s record is 2-3.

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