Marketing’s Weekly Dose of the Truth

Ken Magill

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Magill FFL 2013 Week One: It's On!


Perennial powerhouses Return Path’s RP Anti-Spammers and the TowerData Validators once again stormed out of the gate this year.

Return Path scored 191.92 to beat Responsys’s Provokes a Responsys, which scored a respectable 146.48, but, indeed, provoked a response.

TowerData posted the league’s highest score this week at 203.7, beating eBay Enterprise, which also posted a respectable point total: 153.56.

TowerData and Return Path have historically dominated this league until the playoffs, where both have suffered repeated upsets.

Ironically, neither of this week’s top two scorers had Peyton Manning who threw a record-tying seven touchdown passes on Thursday night.

Manning plays for Responsys, who had to be feeling pretty good after he posted 74.28 points. But, alas, the win slipped out of their grasp.

Wait. What’s that I see? Responsys has two Buffalo Bills on their team: running back C.J. Spiller and wide receiver Stevie Johnson. Do I not lecture this league on the Buffalo Bills every single year?

I’ll say it again. I grew up in Buffalo. I am a life-long suffering Bills fan. I bleed Bills red, white and blue. What’s that bloody mess you see on the floor? Why, it’s my heart, having been ripped out of my chest once again. The Bills lost to the Patriots on a field goal this week with seven seconds left in the game.

So here’s what’s going to happen, Responsys: Johnson and Spiller will have some very good games this year. They’re both outstanding athletes. But they’re teasing you, Responsys. They’re just waiting for the right moment to rip your heart out, throw it on the floor and stomp it into little bits. Trust me. I know. Brace yourself.

Meanwhile, newcomer Dylan Murphy—an email consultant in Florida—started his first season in this league with a bang. His team Moodachay—he’s apparently a Jaguars fan—beat Movable Ink’s The Inkredibles 177.2 to 139.22.

Other newcomer, Epsilon’s Harmony Army, also started the season on a positive note—Get it? Note?—by beating Living Social’s Illegal Use of Hands 149.58 to 97.78.

NetAtlantic Storm—out to avenge a really crappy season last year—beat Omeda’s Oh My! Omeda 153.22 to 144.5.

Message System’s MS Destroyers—out to avenge two bad seasons in a row—beat last year’s champion eWay Direct Avengers 134.92 to 104.12.

PL Marketing’s PLPromo beat the FreshAddress @men 115.48 to 81.56.


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Terms: Feel free to be as big a jerk as you want, but don't attack anyone other than me personally. And don't criticize people or companies other than me anonymously. Got something crappy to say? Say it under your real name. Anonymous potshots and personal attacks aimed at me, however, are fine.

Posted by: Ken Magill
Date: 2013-09-10 17:29:03
Subject: Bills/Autodraft

I know, autodraft can be painful. But wrangling everyone from around the country for a live draft seems like a recipe for disaster. I have a tough enough time getting everyone to activate their teams on time.
Posted by: Kevin Senne
Date: 2013-09-10 16:45:32
Subject: Bills

Damn you autodraft and your Buffalo Bills :)