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MagillFFL 2012: Quarterfinals Go Down to the Wire


By Ken Magill

Oh, the heartbreak and elation abounds this week in the email marketing industry’s premier fantasy football league—that would be the Magill Report Fantasy Football League in case anyone’s wondering.

Two teams went into last night’s Monday Night Football contest in the Magill Report quarterfinals down by fewer than 12 points and with enough players yet to go to pull out a win.

One succeeded. One did not. And both games were decided by fewer than two points.

As of yesterday morning, PL Marketing’s Lakeland Hawks were ahead of eWay Direct’s Avengers 115.58 to 104.28. However, all the Hawks’ players were finished and the Avengers still had two players to go: Houston wide receiver Andre Johnson and kicker Shayne Graham.

To win, the Avengers would need 11.4 or more points.

FreshAddress’s @men went into Monday night down 8.7 points to Movable Ink’s Inkredibles. However, the Inkredibles were done and FreshAddress had Houston tight end Owen Daniels and New England’s ever-reliable receiver Wes Welker yet to go.

Ever reliable until last night, that is.

Welker scored just 5.2 fantasy points and Daniels scored 2.4, leaving the @men just 1.1 points short of victory: 89.06 to 87.96.

That @men had one heck of an exciting run this season, losing their first three games and then winning just enough to get the last playoff spot.

But now their season is over.

Meanwhile, the Avengers needed 11.4 points or more last night. They got 11.5, knocking the Hawks out of the playoffs by two tenths of a point.

That’s gotta hurt. If you’re the Hawks, that is.

Moving into the semifinals, Movable Ink’s Inkredibles face Return Path’s GOLIATHS and the Avengers face the TowerData Validators.

Coming off playoff byes, the Validators and GOLIATHS are this year’s two strongest teams. The Inkredibles and Avengers have their work cut out for them.

And from the where-the-heck-was-this-team-during-the-regular-season file comes new that e-Dialog’s e-D’s TDs scored a whopping 176.7 points to beat Living Social’s Illegal Use of Hands—who also scored a respectable 106.36—in a meaningless consolation game.

The couldn’t-catch-a-break-if-their-lives-depended-on-it NetAtlantic TidalWave finally caught a break this week, beating Responsys’s Always in the Inbox 95.72 to 88.20 in this week’s other meaningless consolation game.

All four teams in this week’s consolation games are now done for the season.

Next week, the Lakeland Hawks and the @men are in a consolation game to battle for fifth place.

The winners of next week’s semifinals move on to the championship where they’ll be playing for the adoration of the email marketing world. Well, okay, so maybe adoration is a little strong and email marketing world is a little overly broad.

Will you settle for grudging respect from a few football nuts who also happen to be in email marketing? No?

Well then, let’s talk about what’s really important. The winners of next week’s semifinals move on to the championship where they’ll be playing for an engraved crystal championship trophy and the coveted regulation-sized Lebanon bologna sausage from Dietrich’s Meats in Krumsville, PA. [Yum]

And the angels wept.


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Terms: Feel free to be as big a jerk as you want, but don't attack anyone other than me personally. And don't criticize people or companies other than me anonymously. Got something crappy to say? Say it under your real name. Anonymous potshots and personal attacks aimed at me, however, are fine.

Posted by: Barry
Date: 2012-12-11 16:32:48
Subject: Ryan Mallet Sucks

I couldnt stand him at MICHIGAN and now his interception may have cost me Lebanon bologna sausage from Dietrich’s Meats in Krumsville, PA.