Marketing’s Weekly Dose of the Truth

Ken Magill

About Us

Net Atlantic Wins Magill Report Championship!

12/23/14
 
By Ken Magill
 
And the meat football this year goes to ... Net Atlantic!
 
The Net Atlantic Storm took its first Magill Report Fantasy Football League championship by beating Fluent’s Fluent in Kicking @ss 144.58 to 133.76.
 
Fluent lost mainly due to an uncharacteristically bad performance by Indianapolis quarterback Andrew Luck. Luck threw for a season low 109 yards and two interceptions and was pulled in the third quarter in a loss against Dallas.
 
Sadly for Fluent, they had the points to win on their bench.
 
Philadelphia quarterback Mark Sanchez threw for a career high 374 yards and two touchdowns in a loss against the Redskins.
 
As a result, he scored 41.16 Magill League fantasy points this week, enough to have put Fluent over the top.
 
But, hey, who am I kidding? Only a barking lunatic would have started Sanchez over Luck.
 
Interestingly, Fluent in Kicking @ss was managed by two guys who have won previous Magill Report championships for other companies: Jordan Cohen and Jarret Lewis. Both had a hand in managing 2012 champion Pontiflex and Lewis managed eWayDirect in a squeaker of a championship win in 2013 over Movable Ink, which was managed by Cohen.
 
Between them, Cohen and Lewis have taken four companies to Magill Report Fantasy Football championships in five seasons and won two. 
 
But let’s talk about what’s really important: Net Atlantic is this year’s recipient of the Magill Report Fantasy Football League Championship sweet Lebanon bologna football from Dietrich’s Meats in Krumsville, PA (Mmmm. Mmmm.).
 
I placed the order yesterday.
 
A Dietrich’s Meats Lebanon bologna football is truly champion worthy.
 
For those who have never been exposed to the wonderfulness that is Lebanon bologna, it is a cured, smoked, fermented, semi-dry salami-like sausage available throughout Pennsylvania as a lunch meat.
 
It is good with mustard, cream cheese alone—any cheese, really—cream cheese with a little sweet relish mixed in, and peanut butter. Really. Peanut butter. 
 
Some people fry it and make sandwiches out of it with mayo or Miracle Whip. I have yet to try it that way. … Though there is some in the fridge. Hmmm.
 
In any case, if there is a more flavorful lunch meat in existence, I have yet to run across it.
 
Lebanon bologna originated with the Pennsylvania Dutch and was named for the Lebanon Valley of Lebanon County, PA, where it is most commonly produced.
 
Oh, and Net Atlantic also gets a beautiful engraved crystal trophy from Crown Awards. It costs three times as much as the meat football. Recipients always appreciate the trophy, but the oohs and ahs are reserved for the meat football.
 
I get it. It’s not every day an abrasive trade writer who has an unhealthy relationship with alcohol drives across three states to personally deliver a meat football to your company.
 
Congratulations, Net Atlantic! See you soon! 
Comments

Show: Newest | Oldest

Post a Comment
Your Name:
Subject:
Comments:
Verification:
Please type the letters in the image above

Terms: Feel free to be as big a jerk as you want, but don't attack anyone other than me personally. And don't criticize people or companies other than me anonymously. Got something crappy to say? Say it under your real name. Anonymous potshots and personal attacks aimed at me, however, are fine.

Xverify