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Ken Magill

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Shuvitt Inyurass Woos Asian Beauties; A Kitten Where?

4/16/13

By Ken Magill

[Author’s note: I considered holding this piece as a result of the bombings in Boston yesterday but then decided to run it. Having been in the 9/11 World Trade Center attack, I decided long ago not to let terrorists dictate my behavior.]

My alter ego, Shuvitt Inyurass, has apparently been very busy lately looking for love in Asia.

As long-time readers know, Shuvitt Inyurass was my fake name in a 2009 exchange with a Nigerian 419 scammer in which I introduced family members such as Pierce D. Boyle and Lihtta Pharty Inyurass.

It was exactly as mature as it sounds.

I would link to the original Shuvitt Inyurass/419 scammer exchange, but the publisher who recently acquired my old publisher, Penton Media's marketing group, has seemingly wiped out most of the work I did there. So much for my quest for Internet immortality.

In any case, I have used the fake name and email address, ShuvittInyurass_at_yahoo.com, to communicate with various likely scam artists over the ensuing years to see, among other things, if they can spot its obvious absurdity.

Last year, ShuvittInyurass_at_yahoo.com began to start receiving email with personalized subject lines such as “shuvittinyurass, Cash Compensation for Vaginal Mesh Problems.”

I didn’t say they were targeted, just personalized.

Then on March 4, a registration confirmation came from AsianBeauties.com. “Welcome to Asianbeauties.com, the easiest and most advanced way to meet the most beautiful and eligible Asian Ladies imaginable,” the email said.

I can say for certain I never registered Shuvitt Inyurass on AsianBeauties.com.

However, since March 4, Shuvitt Inyurass has been receiving daily emails featuring photos and letters from beautiful Asian women looking for love. Some have been truly intriguing.

First up is a woman named Chanqqun

“Hi shuvittinyurass.
I feel so close when I read your profile and I think that we share a lot of things in common. It is really so wonderful to know that you have such a wide range of interests like me. I feel that we will make a perfect match. Will you like to hold the karma with me?”

Ummm, sure. . I never really thought of it as a karma, but Shuvitt Inyurass would be happy to hold it with you.

Next up, we have Kittin

“Hi again dear! I’m Kittin and my nick name is Pook.”

Just think of what her name will be if she marries Shuvitt Inyurass and takes his last name.

Um, ma’am, we don’t do that with Kittens in America. And that nickname had better not be a verb.

Then there’s Yuhua:

“Dear shuvittinyurass.
So glad to meet you here, … i always believe if i offer a sincere heart, i will finally meet a right one who will love the real me, and understand my feeling, finally become my intimate partner, together with me to sit in the front of yard, listen to blossom, watching the clouds skim over.”

Yuhua sounds wonderfully romantic but that isn’t what won me over. It’s her name. According to AsianBeauties.com it means windy.

Folks, I say let’s get these two kids together. Hopefully they’ll fall in love, get married and we’ll have the satisfaction of knowing that somewhere on the planet there is a woman named Windy Inyurass.

 

 

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Terms: Feel free to be as big a jerk as you want, but don't attack anyone other than me personally. And don't criticize people or companies other than me anonymously. Got something crappy to say? Say it under your real name. Anonymous potshots and personal attacks aimed at me, however, are fine.

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