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Stunner: Canada Set to Repeal Anti-Spam Law


By Ken Magill

In an unprecedented move, Canadian officials have announced they will repeal the country’s long anticipated anti-spam law.

Considered one of the strictest of its kind in the world, the Canadian anti-spam law was slated to go into effect in July. But in a rare moment of clarity, Canadian legislators apparently had a change of heart.

“We realized our anti-spam law would create a needless maze of bureaucratic hurdles for law-abiding businesses while failing to remotely stem the flow of spam,” said a legislative aide who did not want to be identified.

The aide said Canada’s anti-spam law came about because everyone involved in the process had repeatedly taken ecstasy. The law was written and rewritten during a four-year legislative rave held by Toronto Mayor Rob Ford, he said.

“We figured if Ford could run a city as metropolitan as Toronto on crack, we could run the whole country while doing ecstasy,” said the aide. “We were all like: ‘Dude, this is beautiful. We’re going to have the best anti-spam law ever.’ Once we realized the law was finished and set to go into effect in July, the anti-spam rave ended. Frankly, we were tired of Ford's constant stage diving, anyway,” added the aide.

“Then we crashed and realized what a piece of stupid crap the law is. From now on, no more ecstasy. We’re sticking to beer and doughnuts,” the aide said. “And maybe the occasional mushroom.”

April Fools!

Canada’s anti-spam law is still slated to go into effect in July. It will, indeed, create a needless maze of bureaucratic hurdles for law-abiding businesses while failing to stem the flow of spam. It will be all hurt and no benefit.

And as far as I know, no one took ecstasy or attended a rave held by Rob Ford while crafting Canada’s anti-spam law. Too bad. Then at least they’d have an excuse.


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Terms: Feel free to be as big a jerk as you want, but don't attack anyone other than me personally. And don't criticize people or companies other than me anonymously. Got something crappy to say? Say it under your real name. Anonymous potshots and personal attacks aimed at me, however, are fine.

Posted by: Glenn Martin
Date: 2014-06-06 15:03:43

Guess I will put that in my pipe and smoke it!
Posted by: Tom
Date: 2014-04-07 15:20:46
Subject: It's now April 7th

Not cool. It is no longer April Fool's day.
Posted by: Jon Petron
Date: 2014-04-02 14:29:52
Subject: good one

I got excited. For a second.
Posted by: Stephanie Miller
Date: 2014-04-01 19:23:02
Subject: Wow - good one

Okay, Ken. You got me. Darn. I was actually really impressed! Too bad it was a joke. Thanks.
Posted by: SteveG
Date: 2014-04-01 17:23:27
Subject: Canada