Stupid Artist Watch: Let's Hear it for Spam Poetry!

6/19/12

By Ken Magill

Folks, we’re all in the wrong business. We could have been artists! Or poets, to be more precise.

The words and phrases have been right in front of our faces every working day of our lives since email came along.

They’re in our spam folders. Who knew?

In what has to be one of the greatest creative breakthroughs of our time, two artists have collaborated on a project called SPAMpoetry.

According to the Seattle Post Intelligencer: “SPAMpoetry is a series of knitted works containing visual poetry created from SPAM. It is a collaboration between Varvara Guljajeva and Mar Canet Sola who are ‘interested in bringing together digital culture and traditional handicraft.’

“First they put the word out that they needed people's SPAM, then they converted it into a pattern and uploaded into a tweaked knitting machine.

“The process illuminates the stark contrast between the rapid pace of the digital world and the slow, careful knitting process.”

It slays me that someone actually wrote that last line with a straight face.

But in any case, what are we waiting for?! Let’s dig into our spam folders and create some art! [Maybe we’ll even get a grant.]

Here’s my first spam poem:

Find the perfect fitting bra
'Salt to taste' just took on new meaning
Stop being a nervous wreck

Thrill her more every night
I am waiting urgent for your respond
LOVE TO FRIENDSHIP WITH YOU

HELLO
Efficient copiers improve productivity and decrease costs
Eat great lobsters

See how easy that was? I especially like the combination of the bra, salt, copier and lobster imagery.

From now on I’m going to wear a beret and smoke hand-rolled cigarettes with my thumb and first two fingers pointing at my face.

Oh, but I won’t be knitting my spam poetry. I’ll be crocheting doilies, thank you very much.

The process will illuminate the stark contrast between the cold, impersonal nature of spam and the old-person smell in grandma’s house.

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Terms: Feel free to be as big a jerk as you want, but don't attack anyone other than me personally. And don't criticize people or companies other than me anonymously. Got something crappy to say? Say it under your real name. Anonymous potshots and personal attacks aimed at me, however, are fine.

Posted by: Quinn Mallory
Date: 2012-06-20 18:56:44
Subject: Demented haiku

I had often wondered about the "stark contrast between the rapid pace of the digital world and the slow, careful knitting process." It's kept me up at night.