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Ken Magill

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What Up DMA? Why You Not Kill EEC?

8/16/11

By Ken Magill

Okay, Direct Marketing Association: I thought we had this talk already and understood our roles. You’re supposed to be utterly incompetent—especially on all things digital marketing—and I’m supposed to ridicule you.

Remember our unspoken deal on the email experience council? You were supposed to slowly grind it into ineffective oblivion like you did with the Interactive Marketing Association.

Man, those were the good old days. You acquired AIM in 1998 and put a boot heel on those upstart interactive know-it-alls until they disappeared with a barely audible whimper in 2003.

That was the most fun I’ve had in my career. [I know. That says incredibly pathetic things about me, but like, whatever.]

Apparently, in the intervening years you have forgotten how things are supposed to work. I’ll spell it out for you.

When you acquired the eec in 2007, you choking it to death was supposed to be a given.

Yet, four years later the eec takes a major step toward normalizing email marketing industry standards with Responsys’ adoption of its SAME Project metrics.

Do you not get it, DMA? This is good for the industry. It’s progress. You aren’t supposed to enable progress in email marketing. You’re the king of email regress. And I need it to stay that way.

We can’t have this … this positive stuff coming from you. Oh, no. You need to get back to your role as the Darth Vader of email marketing and pronto.

Oh, and don’t think I didn’t read the SAME Project document and see that it was written in plain English. You were supposed to turn it into unreadable, watered-down committee-speak gobbledygook.

What happened?

I thought you understood that you enabling progress on the interactive-marketing front is bad for me and that bad for me is, well, bad.

I need interactive marketing incompetence, DMA, and you and I both know from our long history together that you’re the organization that is supposed to ladle it out in buckets.

I built a career ridiculing you and I’ll be damned if some little peon subsidiary who can’t even punctuate its own name properly is going to be allowed to end that gravy train.

So here’s the deal: Time to drop the hammer on the eec. [See what I’m talking about? Apparently their shift key is broken. Either that or they think they’re e. e. friggin’ cummings.]

No. More. Progress.

Understand?

And capitalize that damn title.

Now get out of my sight. You embarrass me.

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Terms: Feel free to be as big a jerk as you want, but don't attack anyone other than me personally. And don't criticize people or companies other than me anonymously. Got something crappy to say? Say it under your real name. Anonymous potshots and personal attacks aimed at me, however, are fine.

Posted by: Stephanie Miller, VP, Email & Digital Services, Aprimo
Date: 2011-08-16 20:13:25
Subject: No DMA/eec deal, Ken!

No deal, Ken. We'll continue to do cool things for the industry and, with the help of dedicated volunteers like those who masterminded and continue to manage S.A.M.E., we will continue to improve the Council's relevancy and advocacy for the industry. We'll leave the letters lower case to give you something to hold onto, though. - Stephanie Miller, Co Chair, DMA/eec
Posted by: Lana
Date: 2011-08-16 16:48:59
Subject: Need that one

I'm with Ruth. Appreciated. Thanks for the read Ken!
Posted by: Ruth P. Stevens
Date: 2011-08-16 16:38:46
Subject: hilarious

Thanks for a good belly laugh, Ken.
Posted by: Andrew Barrett
Date: 2011-08-16 16:03:00
Subject: Headline FIXED

Y U NO KILL EEC?!!1!?

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