What Up DMA? Why You Not Kill EEC?
By Ken Magill
Okay, Direct Marketing Association: I thought we had this talk already and understood our roles. You’re supposed to be utterly incompetent—especially on all things digital marketing—and I’m supposed to ridicule you.
Remember our unspoken deal on the email experience council? You were supposed to slowly grind it into ineffective oblivion like you did with the Interactive Marketing Association.
Man, those were the good old days. You acquired AIM in 1998 and put a boot heel on those upstart interactive know-it-alls until they disappeared with a barely audible whimper in 2003.
That was the most fun I’ve had in my career. [I know. That says incredibly pathetic things about me, but like, whatever.]
Apparently, in the intervening years you have forgotten how things are supposed to work. I’ll spell it out for you.
When you acquired the eec in 2007, you choking it to death was supposed to be a given.
Yet, four years later the eec takes a major step toward normalizing email marketing industry standards with Responsys’ adoption of its SAME Project metrics.
Do you not get it, DMA? This is good for the industry. It’s progress. You aren’t supposed to enable progress in email marketing. You’re the king of email regress. And I need it to stay that way.
We can’t have this … this positive stuff coming from you. Oh, no. You need to get back to your role as the Darth Vader of email marketing and pronto.
Oh, and don’t think I didn’t read the SAME Project document and see that it was written in plain English. You were supposed to turn it into unreadable, watered-down committee-speak gobbledygook.
I thought you understood that you enabling progress on the interactive-marketing front is bad for me and that bad for me is, well, bad.
I need interactive marketing incompetence, DMA, and you and I both know from our long history together that you’re the organization that is supposed to ladle it out in buckets.
I built a career ridiculing you and I’ll be damned if some little peon subsidiary who can’t even punctuate its own name properly is going to be allowed to end that gravy train.
So here’s the deal: Time to drop the hammer on the eec. [See what I’m talking about? Apparently their shift key is broken. Either that or they think they’re e. e. friggin’ cummings.]
No. More. Progress.
And capitalize that damn title.
Now get out of my sight. You embarrass me.